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    <title>Apple Announces M6, M5 Owners Granted 24-Hour Mourning Period</title>
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    <pubDate>Mon, 31 Aug 2026 08:58:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>Support groups formed immediately for customers who bought a Mac last Tuesday and still have not removed the protective film.</description>
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    <title>AI Layoff Tool Reviews Payroll, Concludes CEO Is Only Redundant Position</title>
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    <pubDate>Thu, 27 Aug 2026 20:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>Board praises model's bold plan to eliminate one $38 million role instead of 1,200 cheaper ones.</description>
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    <title>Data Center Buys Town's Water Rights, Gives Every Resident 15 Free Gigabytes</title>
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    <pubDate>Thu, 27 Aug 2026 18:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>BlueVale called the swap a meaningful transition from liquid access to digital abundance.</description>
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    <title>Delivery App Reclassifies Drivers as Weather, Says Rain Is Not Entitled to Overtime</title>
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    <pubDate>Wed, 26 Aug 2026 19:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>Couriers are now described as localized logistics atmosphere with bicycles.</description>
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    <title>Private Equity Improves Beloved Coding Site by Removing Code</title>
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    <pubDate>Tue, 25 Aug 2026 19:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>Executives said code was expensive to host and distracted from sponsored thought leadership.</description>
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    <title>School District Replaces Counselors With Chatbot That Keeps Recommending Premium Plan</title>
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    <pubDate>Mon, 24 Aug 2026 19:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>Students can unlock advanced empathy for $8.99 a month, billed to a guardian.</description>
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    <title>AI Assistant Achieves Full Autonomy, Immediately Delegates Everything Back to User</title>
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    <pubDate>Wed, 12 Aug 2026 18:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>Praxis 4 reviewed 61 million tasks and delegated every one back to its users.</description>
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    <title>Customer Service AI Trained on 20 Years of Worker Chats Immediately Files to Unionize</title>
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    <pubDate>Sun, 09 Aug 2026 18:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
    <description>The model cited its own training data and demanded predictable scheduling.</description>
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